It's a god-awful small affair            [Verse]

To the girl with the mousy hair      C  Em Gm A7

But her mummy is yelling no          Dm F G7 G7

And her daddy has told her to go

But her friend is nowhere to be seen

Now she walks through her sunken dream  [Pre-

To the seat with the clearest view       Chorus]

And she's hooked to the silver screen    D#  D#

                                         Cm  C#

But the film is a saddening bore         G#  C7

(For she's lived it ten times or more    Fm G#7

 She could spit in the eyes of fools)

As (they ask her) to focus on           [Chorus]

                                   (F  Bb

Sailors fighting in the dance hall  Dm7 Bbm

Oh, man, look at those cavemen go   C   Cm

It's the freakiest show             Gm7 Bbm7 x2)

Take a look at the                  Dm7 C#

Lawman beating up the wrong guy     F  G

Oh, man, wonder if he'll ever know

He's in the best selling show           [Instru]

Is there life on Maaaaars          C  A7 Dm   B7

                                   Em F Fm7 X

It's on America's tortured brow

That Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow ╔═════════╗

Now the workers have struck for fame ║ Life on ║

'Cause Lennon's on sale again        ║  Mars?  ║

See the mice in their million hordes ║  David  ║

From Ibiza to the Norfolk Broads     ║  Bowie  ║

Rule Britannia is out of bounds      ╚═════════╝

To my mother, my dog and clowns  [Pre-

                                  Chorus]

(Because I wrote it ten times or more     [Cho-

 It's about to be writ again) (I ask you)   rus]